“Don’t Even Try To Say Your Not…..”

Today I am going to blog a personal experience. We all have them. They all affect each of us differently. A couple of weekends ago my family and I piled in our van and headed to another town where another couple were waiting for us in their pasture. Do I have your attention yet? Yep their pasture. No it’s not where they live but it is where a Christmas project for some people we care about is about to get real, or maybe just maybe come alive? We worked as a team loading the van full of some goodies we would soon be transforming into hopefully magical wishes that will make others smile for years. I know we will all have great memories of how we transformed them. We started talking about health, how we are all getting older, parts of us talk back at times and some make noises beyond our control. This couple were sharing with us how they both worked for this company for 20 plus years and had decided to retire together. To enjoy life together. So many do not get that chance in life. They work their entire life, retire when their body forces them then health fails quickly and they die. They work their entire life……not getting a chance to enjoy that precious thing we call life. Which leads me to my next conversation. Taking care of our bodies because they are the only one in life we are given….sure we can get spare or refurbished parts even new ones but they are not your own…..not the ones God blessed you with. The lady we were with made a comment that I was half the person I used to be. I have always been the type that can not take compliments well so I lowered my head and started shaking it left to right, smiling when our son piped up and defensively said “Don’t EVEN try to say your not mom! You have worked your butt off the past year.” Wow. I held back the tears as we continued to talk. This is a teenager guys. A boy who I constantly remind to pick up his room, to shut the door because we were not born in a barn, he does great with lights so he is off the hook there but you get what I am saying…..daily I think “why doesn’t he pay attention, listen?” I was wrong. He does. On the things that mean the most in life to “get”…..he does pay attention. He does notice I am trying to make a difference in my life to become healthier, to love longer. It’s a journey and a long one. I am struggling right now in many fields and have found myself not working out because “life’s issues” get in the way. I know this should not be the case but I am human. We drove away that day and my heart grew even bigger for my son that I thought it could. Yes I am on the struggle bus now, but the side of that bus does not say loser….quitter. It says “hey your human, we slip up sometimes, it’s ok…..take what time you need, get your crap together and jump back in. So sometimes when you spend days in and out beating yourself up because you did not make that workout as planned, or didn’t eat healthy it doesn’t mean you have failed……inside I know it’s a journey I want to stay on speed bumps and all…..learning to love yourself is sometimes the hardest thing of all. and being your worst enemy is a given.  Those little eyes regardless how old they are…they are watching. As they say about Santa (this family believes in the Spirit of Christmas so yes we still say we believe….we can even hear the bell on the Polar Express!)  So for now I will keep on keepin’ on…..it may not be as fast as others but one thing you will never see me do is quit. Don’t give up on yourself if you are struggling…..we are worth it and the best is yet to come. I need to focus on how good I felt when I was giving it my all…..and take it one step at a time. If you are on the same bus as I am we can do this….together……sweat, tears, all of it. One day at a time.

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